Every concern documented. Resolution subject to availability.
Filed by the International Brotherhood of Woodland Trades & Extended Breaks, Local 7. The Foregnome serves as hourly supervisor, Union Shop Steward, and the person most likely to object to his own instructions.
Grievance IBoWT&EB–7–001 · Filing Date: During Paid Hours
Unauthorized Use of Unpaid Woodland Labor
Status: Pending verification of the birds’ employment status.
Incident
The Princess recruited woodland animals to assist with the renovation without consulting Local 7. Birds performed overhead work, squirrels transported materials, and several rabbits appeared to be on site without a clearly defined role.
Union position
Management describes the animals as volunteers. The union notes that enthusiasm is not a recognized substitute for wages, membership dues, or an adequate lunch break.
Management response
The Princess maintains that the animals were helping a friend. She has also asked whether Local 7 intends to finish the windows or continue interviewing a squirrel.
Remedy requested
Recognition of all work performed with paws, wings, or suspiciously helpful tails, plus a negotiated boundary between friendship and subcontracting.
Grievance IBoWT&EB–7–002 · Filing Date: During Paid Hours
Improper Classification of Heavy Storage Furniture
Status: Pending a meeting about scheduling a meeting.
Incident
The technology department requested that Local 7 relocate an IBM 2314 storage facility. The work order described the assignment as “light data handling.”
Union position
The Foregnome contends that “light” refers neither to the equipment nor to the resulting mood of the workforce. The number of megabytes contained inside a cabinet does not reduce the number of gnomes required outside it.
Management response
The Prince explains that the data itself weighs very little. He has offered to supervise from a location that will not obstruct the lifting.
Remedy requested
Heavy-equipment compensation, suitable moving equipment, and an amendment prohibiting management from using file size to estimate physical effort.
Grievance IBoWT&EB–7–003 · Filing Date: During Paid Hours
Cassette Rotation and the Definition of a Second Shift
Status: Pending clarification of who is currently on break.
Incident
The backup procedure requires a worker to turn over the CCR-81’s cassette when Side A is full. Management considers this a continuation of the original task. Local 7 considers Side B a separate engagement.
Union position
The Foregnome argues that a new side, a new direction of travel, and an additional press of RECORD collectively establish a material change in working conditions.
Management response
The Prince maintains that both sides belong to the same cassette. The Princess has asked why the backup still has not finished. Neither statement has advanced negotiations.
Remedy requested
A side-change allowance, a written handover procedure, and confirmation that time spent locating a pencil for emergency rewinding counts as skilled work.
